Are you saying Help, my grown children won’t leave or work? Adults living with parents and no job seems to be on the rise in America. How do you find a solution to help nudge them in the right direction. How do we eventually get them out on their own? This is not easy task.
Are you stuck with grown children living with you? And are you running out of ideas to get thie out? Are you asking yourself what did I do wrong. Why aren’t they even trying to get out? Do they even see a future for themselves. I see this in many homes and I don’t really know all the answers, because all my children wanted to get out on their own and live their own lives.
Raising Children and Responsibility
All the generations as far as I know and all my extended family grew up and like we should moved on out and got a job or went to college or the service when we graduated. Some of us stayed at home until we got out of college. Some wanted to leave the home so they could do things maybe they were not allowed to do while at home with mom and dad. The comon thing we all had was, we were all leaving as soon as we could. It was the natural thing to do.
I believe it all starts at a young age. I know I was raised where we had chores to do at home. If my mama was working in the home I did too! My duties were to go to school and make good grades. When I was home from school my brothers and I had a snack did homework and then we had to do some light chores. I watered the gaden or picked the garden, mowed the lawn, picked up the yard, chopped wood and carried it in, helped cook and clean dishes. After Dinner we had free time, but out bedrooms had to be picked up before we went to school each day. I didn’t do all those chores mention above everyday, some were seasonal.
Family Working Together Is Key
My mom would let me choose to hoe or work in the garden or cook dinner. I usually cooked and did the dishes, because I didn’t like to hoe. I would usually cut something down. Jim myolder brother would usually take a truck loaded with hay in the winter to school so he could go feed the cows after school. My dad was on his construction job so he relied on Jim to handle the things around the farm. My younger brother did chores around the home also.
I just know we were all busy but we were all happy. Staying in good shape was not proplem and ate whatever I wanted. So many children or over weight. I was a strong girl and had muscles I could swing that ax and chop wood. I didn’t realize how strong I was but at times different people said my grip would hurt the I was just a normal country girl. Fishing after school was something I somehow ahs time for. One draw back I would clean them and bring them in for mom to cook.
Fun Time and Free Time
I don’t remember everything we did that was fun, but we did have some. We didn’t have vacations as ofter as people do now. My dad worked hard. I do know on a Weekend sometimes he would bring home a brown sack full of snacks and soda for us. We always had good food and plenty, but junk food and soda was an occasional treat. Daddy would come home and we might all go to a pond or river and swim for a little while.
I also got to go to friends homes and my cousins and spend the night with them and they with me. As we got older we would ride our bikes, go for walks in the woods or just hang out and listen to music. We didn’t really have movies to very often. A fair may come around once a year and sometimes we got to go to Six Flags Over Texas.
We had a simeple life simple fun. Family would come by for Sunday lunch or stop by for pie and coffee before church on Sunday night. Some family would come by on Saturday for lunch. My mom always seemed to be in the kitchen. Getting together in the summer to can soup and shuck corn with other family member was a fun gathering even if it was work.
Children Today
Things have changed alot today and I believe it is the reason why grown children wont leave or work. When mothers started working and leaving the children at daycare things really changed. Moms and dads were/are tired when they pick up the kids. As soon as they get home the kids are watching TV or on some device such as phone. Kids are not made to pick up their rooms much less do chores. I know sometimes as I was raising my children it would have been eaiser to just do the job myself.
What happens is the children do not have any responsibility, they don’t have to earn anything. They get what they want and they don’t like to wait for it. At the same time it is exhausting the parents trying to keep up with all the demands of the children. Parents are too tired to really train them to have resposibility. They do enroll them into sports and music lessons and much more. I had those things too, but chores had to be done no matter what.
A lot of kids are raising themselves. They get home and are alone until dinner time. So they have become lazy. By the time they grow up they don’t know how to take care of themselves becasue no one ever made them when they were younger. We want to blame the lazy kids, but it starts in the home at an early age.
What are Your Childrens Interest
Parents need one on one time with their children and Dinner time is so important for the family. So much is said or not said during meal time. You can read the mood of your children and pick up on emotions and interest. I believe it is good to have your children in extra activities, expecially if you are not going to be home for them.
Pay attention to what they like and invest some time exploring those things. Take them to job fairs, expose them to labor workers, let them work with some, explore colleges and check out all the service has to offer. These thing need to be done from an early age. Have talks about what you expect when they graduate. My children knew if they were not going to college they had to work. They could live at home but would contribute to the bills. They had jobs in High School, and we made them save the money for when they graduated. We paid for their stuff while they were in our home, it was our duty, but after graduation it was time to let them fly.
What is the Solution
I believe what the bible says in Proverbs: If you don’t work you don’t eat! This is said with respect, I am aware there are people who cannot work. I am talking about the lazy loafers. I also am aware it cost alot to get out on your own. Most people cannot make it unless they have roommates to help pay the bills. I think it is time for some tough love with the lazy ones. If you still don’t have work solution check out this option for working from home or anywhere you are.
As parent you cannot put off traing you children for tomorrow, they grow way too fast. For all you who are so tired and are not getting enough rest I have something you just might like right here.